Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

I am not very good in standing still. And to me it seems like 2012 has been a year of stillness, no progress. Standing still has been and still is hard for me to accept and sometimes it really made me go crazy. I tried hard to break the stillness, but did not succeed which made it even harder to accept. I could say I'm wiser for it. But the be honest I am sure that there will be lots of moments in the future were I'll look back on 2012 with regrets, melancholically, there'll be questions that I won't be able to answer myelf.

So 2012 was a tough year. I've seen better days, for sure. But on the other hand I should not, I must not forget that I had nice moments, too.

April 21, for example, when my volleyball team that was supposed to be disband before the season was promoted.

Or April 25, the Wednesday on which I watched the Champions League semifinals rematch with my sister and two guys from Angola in Windhoek, Namibia. The seminfinals rematch FC Bayern Munich vs. Real Madrid, one of the crasiest matches I have ever seen.

July 26, up in the mountains, hiking with my sister.

The night from October 6 to October 7, that I spent in the night train Berlin - Cologne, together with a 60 year old Irish farmer who I was talking to and disucssing with until 5 in the morning.

October 14, when I was running my 2nd half-marathon and afterwards going to a suprise concert with my sister.

October 21, a bright and sunny Sunday on which I was wandering around Heidelberg, one of my favorite cities in the world.

December 15 and 16, the weekend on which I explored the french soul and the behavior of boars with my roommates and a good friend in the kitchen of our apartment, on which I was dancing with my new roommate and his friend the next night, on which I was talking to my good old friend who made me realize that sometimes standing still is a necessity.

There will be lots of moments in the future were I'll look back on 2012 with regrets, melancholically, there'll be questions that I won't be able to answer myelf. But in moments like this I'll also trynna remember those good days I had. And I will, I am gonna remember myself what I'm always gonna have: I am alive, I am free and no later than 2013 I'm gonna be back on the pursuit of happiness also.

unhappily happy winter blues thoughts

Doing a headstand, sitting on top of the "mountain" of Munich's Olympic Park - at night, watching stars, feeling snow on your face, breathing in - really deeply, warming up your hands at a hot cup of coffee - or tea, painting, walking really slowly, closing the eyes and listening to this one song that is touching your heart, going ice skating, falling in love - maybe - or not, meeting old friends again, feeling the warmth of the radiator, travelling spontaneously, activating your inner cinema and dreaming away to Norway, melting chochlate on your tongue, beeing sentimental for no reason, baking christmas cookies with your mamma, looking at the lights in the streets, listening to the sound of snow, thinking of the good old times, being cold for fun, saying goodbye and welcome at the same time,looking out of the window, eating nuts and oranges in front of a tiled stove, beeing sad - at least a bit, longing away while already missing home, staying home an desperately longing away, being friends, waiting until the new year finally arrives, playing christmas carols on the guitar, being unhappily happy and happily unhappy at the same time, waiting for a sign, waiting for somebody - or anybody, thinking: nothing at all - or at least try to.